by Nick Miller

Why is it hard at times to live at peace with others?

If we are being completely honest, we are not the best at dealing with conflict, communicating feelings, or even at times, relating with people in our life. There are weeks where our boss continues to push us to our limits, filling our days with frustration. There are weeks where we just cannot click at home, constantly arguing with our loved ones throughout the day. Even within our friendships we deal with offense and it creates a little gap between us for a season. The clients or customers that we connect with are just pushing the right buttons throughout the week.

I found myself this week frustrated in multiple situations with different people. I was a little impatient, confused with communication, and irritated with others. This didn’t make me feel great at all, in fact, I was disappointed that the week had gone this way. In the midst of all of that, I was reminded of this verse that I wanted to share with you and learn about this week.

God desires for us to live a life full of peace! He wants us to work in peaceful environments, live in peaceful homes, and have a peaceful mind. However, I believe one of the greatest areas of our life that God wants us to have peace in is our relationships.

If we look into our situations, when we say a peaceful home… it means a family that is well connected and harmonious within a house. When we say we want peace within our job, it most likely isn’t the location but rather the people that we work for and with.

Some of the thoughts that we wrestle with most are obsessing over offense from others, constantly thinking about that one time in the past that a person hurt us. If we were to look deeper within ourselves we may find that the majority of conflict that we have is found when there is a lack of peace with others.

If it is peace that God desires for us within our relationships, why is it often so difficult to see it in our lives daily?

The book of James gives us insight into the difficult times that we may have:

”What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?” – James 4:1

In considering this verse this week, I am reminded that I am not in control of anyone but myself. There are battles within us that tend to lead our motives, drive our conversations, and steer our relationships. Those desires that James is talking about can stir “quarrels” within our relationships. Whether it is pride, selfishness, laziness, anger, greed, or many other internal battles, if not handled correctly could lead to a lack of peace with others.

If pride is our motive in our conversations we are going to face conflict with others. If we enter into a conversation with a selfish motive, we are bound to face a battle. James is indicating that it may be the inner desires within me that are causing the problems.

This is such a revealing perspective to have especially when it comes to our relationships. Perhaps it was me who was being difficult at work, responding with impatience. Perhaps it was me who was the source of tension at home when I was frustrated. Perhaps it was me who was selfish and responded out of anger with my spouse.

We are not perfect at this “peace” thing. I wanted to tell you this week that there is hope for you and I when it comes to living at peace with others. We can live at peace with others because peace lives within us! If Christ is your savior, then His Spirit lives inside of you.

The God of peace is dwelling within your heart, desiring to lead you into peaceful relationships. With the Spirit in us, we will begin to see peace, joy, patience, kindness, and love overflow into every area of our life.

If I know Jesus, my Savior, then why am I having a hard time finding peace with others?

The writer of Hebrews give us the answer to that question:

”Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.” – Hebrews 12:14

Though peace is within us, it takes effort to live in peace with others. It is going to require some intentionality on our end to live at peace with our boss, our friend, our teacher, our spouse, our children. We need to pray that the inner peace would make its way out of our heart and into our relationships. With prayer and preparation, we can face the same conversations, the same situations, the same frustrations and respond with peace.

When we respond with peace, we are sure to create peace with whoever we are connected to.

Ultimately, when we live at peace with one another, others will begin to see and experience something that is unexplainable. When people see you, a person who walks with peace, they will begin to question where this supernatural peace comes from. A peaceful life is the most desirable thing that the world is chasing after.

When we live at peace with one another, the world will begin to notice our lives… and follow Him!

photo: unsplash.com